Not Your Father’s Yankees

Baseball is dead. I know because I saw it murdered in cold blood on Tuesday night at Yankee Stadium, ground zero for one of the most lackluster postseason exits in history.

As a Yankees fan, maybe that’s a little harsh. Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe it’s okay, because Derek Jeter isn’t on the roster anymore and I don’t have to care as much as I used to.

Maybe all of that is true. Tuesday night still sucked.

The Houston Astros, a team that many casual fans believe is still in the National League, rolled in to the Bronx for a one-game Wild Card playoff, and in just over three hours wringed the neck and strangled the final breath out of the New York Yankees, a team whose fans and organizations will be left scratching their heads wondering what the 2015 season was ever for—if they had been paying attention to the regular season, that is.

All of these losses are relative. On paper, the Yankees exceeded expectations this season. They weren’t supposed to sniff a third-place finish, let alone be leading the American League East by seven games back on July 28. They settled for a Wild Card berth—a miracle, in every way.

After serving a year-long suspension, Alex Rodriguez, the beleaguered pariah/relic of a third baseman, inexplicably managed to resurrect his dormant career by hitting more home runs (33) in any season since 2008 at the ripe age of 40. Mark Teixeira, 35, erupted in similar fashion (.255, 31, 79) before succumbing to a season-ending shin fracture in August. This, sprinkled in with All-Star-quality first-half performances by Brett Gardner and Dellin Betances, second half resurgences of Carlos Beltran and newcomer Didi Gregorius, and a handful of stellar outings by starting pitchers Michael Pineda, Masahiro Tanaka, and Nathan Eovaldi, not to mention rookie Luis Severino and closer Andrew Miller, was just enough to unlock a place in October (even Stephen Drew had a couple of big hits. Stephen DREW!). It was unexpected, but the Yanks were back in the postseason for the first time in three years. 

And, as a Yankees fan, once your team is in, expectations change.

Even when the Yankees backed in to the playoffs bruised and blindfolded having lost six of their last seven games (a simultaneous Astros loss on the final day of the regular season the only reason Tuesday night’s Wild Card game wasn’t being played in Houston—as if that mattered; in hindsight the Yankees probably wish the game had been at Minute Maid Park. At least they might have avoided the cacophony of boos), fans like me were still reminded of the 2000 club that lost 15 of its last 18, hobbled into the playoffs, and won the World Series in five games over the cross-town Mets. 

Clearly, however, these are not the same Yankees, nor the same fans.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but one-game playoff or not, Tuesday night was still a postseason showdown at Yankee Stadium. Yet the conspicuous swaths of empty seats scattered around the stadium and behind each team’s respective dugouts said otherwise. The blatant lack of enthusiasm within the ballpark throughout much of the game was palpable, even in front of a television screen. 

Tanaka, who was introduced over the PA system moments before he took the mound for the biggest start of his MLB career, looked visibly nervous, exhaling a deep, apprehensive breath of air when ESPN’s cameras found him warming in the bullpen. He confirmed this sentiment by dealing two straight balls to begin his outing, walking three on the night, and serving up a pair of titanic home runs on the first pitch of an inning to Colby Rasmus and Carlos Gomez, ESPN’s infuriating behind-the-batter camera angles (barely) capturing each bone-crushing bomb.

Nothing felt right about this game from the get-go, especially ESPN’s production. Not that the trio of Dan Shulman, John Kruk, and pioneer Jessica Mendoza do a crumby job. On the contrary, they do rather well; it’s just that we haven’t seen ESPN do playoff baseball in the Bronx for a while. I couldn’t help but think that Joe Buck’s voice might have had a reverse effect on the Yankees anemic offense that mustered a measly three base hits.

But Joe Buck wasn’t there. And neither were the Yankees.

Even the team’s $153 Million man, Jacoby Ellsbury—a career .301 postseason hitter and two-time World Series champion—was benched against the magnificent Dallas Keuchel in the most important game of the center fielder’s Yankee career to date (he eventually pinch hit for Chris Young in the 8th and popped out to shortstop). 

Keuchel, a Cy Young favorite who was working on three days rest for the first time in his career, flustered his opponents all night and closed out the 2015 season against the Yankees without allowing a single run in 22 innings of work. The 27-year-old left-hander became the first pitcher to notch a scoreless postseason start on three days rest since Josh Beckett did it in 2003, coincidentally the last year the Yankees were eliminated from the postseason in a shutout at home…courtesy of, you guessed it, Beckett.

Tuesday night felt a lot like 2003, a full 12 years ago. The ignominious result and the deafening silence that accompanied it were the same: the Yankees lost an elimination game at home, and they didn’t score any runs. It was just the fifth time in franchise history that they were eliminated via a shutout.

But these Yankees are different. Who are these guys? Justin Wilson? Greg Bird? Rob Refsnyder? The diehards know, of course, but the vast majority does not. It’s a confounding time, to say the very least, when A-Rod is the lone player to which Yankee fans have any strong emotional attachment, and, this season notwithstanding, an enormous percentage of that emotion can best be described as some combination of resentment and vitriol. Rodriguez finished Tuesday’s game 0-for-4 with two strikeouts.

But it wasn’t Rodriguez’ fault the Yankees lost. Nor should the blame be put on Tanaka, who pitched well enough to keep New York in it. It was simply the Yankees as a whole: they didn’t belong in Tuesday night’s game. They were frauds, but accidental, or rather unintentional frauds to be sure. They overachieved all season long, and then ran out of gas a couple of miles from the finish line. They didn’t have the strength, depth, or willpower to push their depleted vehicle the rest of the way; they would have very likely been run over by other oncoming cars had they even tried.

It should be noted that the Yankees’ 87-75 record this season wouldn’t have been enough to get them into last year’s playoffs. Their untimely late-season plummet also did little to inspire their fan base, despite a season whose expectations were abnormally low. Had it not been for the Twins and Angels sputtering in similar fashions, New York may not have made the playoffs at all.

Perhaps that explains the pervasive pessimism surrounding Joe Girardi’s squad leading up to Tuesday night. The most optimistic I found myself all night was a tossup between a leadoff single by Gregorius in the sixth, or when Beltran led off the ninth and I thanked my lucky stars the outfielder couldn’t end the Yankees’ season staring at an Adam Wainwright curveball. He struck out anyway, this time swinging.

So now Jets and Giants fans (well, half of them anyway—don’t forget about the Mets!) can breathe a collective resounding sigh of relief knowing that a Yankees playoff run won’t somehow interfere with their sacred Sundays. CC Sabathia can do the same—at least he won’t be tempted to pop celebratory bottles of champagne had these Yankees somehow gone on to win an extremely improbable championship.

When interviewed about Sabathia’s checking into an alcohol rehabilitation center on Monday, Rodriguez told a reporter: “We play for CC now.” It sure didn’t look like it.

But then again, it wasn’t their fault. They played over their heads all season long and clearly weren’t cut out to compete in these playoffs. Hell, my eight best friends and I could have showed up to Yankees Stadium on Tuesday night and scored zero runs in nine innings. 

Maybe it would have been different had the one-game playoff been a best of three series. And let’s be honest: Major League Baseball will probably one day make that a reality when you consider the ridiculousness of a grueling 162-game season coming down to nine innings for all the marbles, or the even more ludicrous notion of two teams playing a one-game playoff…to get into…the one-game playoff, which is precisely what the Tampa Bay Rays and Texas Rangers did in 2013.

But this Yankees team didn’t look up for it. They looked effaced and deflated. And because of that, a team that was dressed like what you imagine the UTEP college baseball team might look like is moving on to meet the Royals in the ALDS. The Astros earned the win, just like the Yankees earned the loss. New York has now tied a franchise record with five straight postseason defeats.

Following Tuesday night’s game, a friend of mine and fellow Yankee fan admitted to me via text that they were in mourning the moment Rasmus launched the game’s first home run that made it 1-0 in the 2nd inning, and rightly so. These were not the Yankees of old. They were overachievers, yes, but they were also charlatans, who had about as much business being in this game as the Marlins (hey, they have Ichiro! A familiar face! Yay!). But unfortunately for them and the sport of baseball, nobody noticed until Tuesday night—163 games too late it seems.

Astana’s Own (Goals)

It certainly wasn’t the most delicious fixture—at least on the surface of things—in Wednesday’s slate of Champions League affairs, but Galatasaray vs. FC Astana proved to be one of, if not the most entertaining clash of Match Day Two. Even Borat would have been proud.

Astana, the Kazakh side whose location on a world map is every traveler/hipster/geography nerd’s wet dream (the capital city is closer to Mongolia than it is to Ukraine; or better yet, closer to Beijing than it is to Rome), became the first side from the central Asian country to not only host a UEFA Champions League group stage match, but to also win a point, after an exciting 2-2 draw at the Astana Arena on Wednesday night.

The 30,000-seater stadium that first opened in 2009 was rocking the millisecond both clubs first emerged from the dressing room, and would only grow louder as the evening progressed. It should be noted that because of the significant time difference between Kazakhstan and the vast majority of Europe (London, for example, is five hours behind Astana), the match commenced a full two hours and 45 minutes earlier than the rest of Wednesday’s games, which translated to a local start time of 10:00 PM—well past the bedtime of young Kazakhs wishing to root on their hometown heroes. Surely exceptions were made for the children on this historic night though.

Galatasaray, who were in search of their first road Champions League victory since March 2013—a nine-game stretch—might have been forgiven for a lackluster performance under unfamiliar circumstances, especially when you consider the near five-hour flight (or 61-hour drive for any Cim-Bom faithful daring enough to attempt the arduous haul) the club had to take to get there.

But it was Hamza Hamzaoğlu’s men who struck first, when the most unassuming of players in Bilal Kisa uncorked a shot from about 30 yards out that twisted and dipped before finally finding its way into the back of the net past Astana keeper Nenad Eric in the 31^st minute; a unforgettable moment for the 32-year-old midfielder, who was making his Champions League debut.

The Turkish giants took that 1-0 lead into the half, and looked satisfied with playing behind the ball for the remainder of the match, with Astana continuing to push men forward in the hopes of finding an equalizer in the second half. It wasn’t long after a wasted opportunity by Foxi Kéthévoama in the 66^th minute when the home side finally found the back of the next thanks to a fortuitous bounce off the leg of an unlucky Hakan Balta whose own goal sent the Astana Arena into a frenzy.

It wouldn’t last long, however, as Eric allowed an own goal nine minutes later after failing to fully save Sinan Gumus’ shot four minutes from time; that put the visitors up one again. The home crowd didn’t despair though, and almost as if from a fairytale, Astana, with the ceaseless, pulsating energy of the crowd behind them, fought back and found yet another equalizer in the 89^th minute courtesy of a quite remarkable header by the Colombian Roger Cañas (which was officially scored as a third-consecutive own goal—this one by the Frenchman Lionel Carole, who barely helped the ball into the net) to unleash the second Kazakh eruption of the night.

Minutes later, the final whistle sounded. Astana has secured their precious point.

The reigning Kazakh Premier League champions still sit in last place in their group, but are even with Galatasaray with four matches to play. Two of those matches will come at home with back-to-back November fixtures against Atlético Madrid, and current group leaders Benfica. In what will surely be vastly chillier conditions—Astana being the world’s second-coldest capital after Ulaanbaatar—the Blue and Yellows, whose cosmopolitan makeup blends 17 Kazakhs with a Bosnian, a Serbian, a Ghanian, a Ukrainian, a Slovenian, a Russian, a Colombian, a Central African Republican, and a Congolese striker, should take full advantage from their stronghold in the East. Respective 10-hour flights lay ahead of both Atlético and Benfica.

Astana, of course, will still have to make one of those trips themselves when they travel to Madrid in mid-October—though it may take a bit longer going against the jet-stream—but played well in a 2-0 defeat to Benfica in the group’s opening game, and will close things out with now familiar Galatasaray on December 8 in Istanbul.

The Round of 16 is still a ways away for FC Astana, but they have already made a giant step forward for the minnows that they are. And rest assured, when Atlético comes to town on November 3, the Kazakh champs can take their boost of confidence from this night and be assured that they have what it takes to compete in this league, and that their rollicking fans will support them until the death. They celebrated this evening as if the draw were a victory. That’s because in many ways, it was.

Champions League Roundup (9/29/15)

Another day, another disappointing Chelsea performance. This one came against Porto, and it must have been a bittersweet homecoming for Blues boss Jose Mourinho (by the way, what was more surprising: seeing Iker Casillas in a Porto shirt, or the fact that the Porto shirts were sponsored by New Balance? I mean, New Balance? Really? Do we think Werther’s may sponsor a kit in the near future as well?), who saw his side underwhelm for the umpteenth time this season in a 2-1 defeat. 

Chelsea’s backline was horrific in conceding both Porto goals—one of those to everyone’s new favorite Portuguese midfielder André André (Rochelle, Rochelle, anyone?)—and probably should have conceded more. Branislav Ivanovic, Gary Cahill, and Ramires looked shadows of their old selves, while Kurt Zouma failed to assert his physical presence for a second-straight match. Thank goodness for Will.I.An, whose late first-half curler tied the match at one (just imagine where the Blues would be without the Brazilian winger’s set piece magic thus far—bottom of the EPL, most likely) and proved to be the only sniff of creativity exhibited by a side that has woken up on the wrong side of the bed all season. Chelsea currently sits 14^th in the Premier League table nestled between West Brom and Watford, and third in their UCL group, and the irony is that it will be on Mourinho to fix it. In seasons past, Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich would have been salivating at the prospect of axing another Andre Villas-Boas, Luiz Felipe Scolari, or Roberto Di Matteo-type after such a dismal start to the year, but we know that the Russian and The Special One have since repaired their relationship, and that the oil magnate fully entrusts (*cough* demands, or else *cough*) Mou to dig the hapless Blues out of their unexpected hole…

Speaking of holes, how about Arsenal! Another loss for the Gunners tonight at the Emirates to Olympiacos, 3-2, could very well portent the demise of the club’s 2015-16 Champions League aspirations. Petr Cech’s night off allowed David “Butterfingers” Ospina to spill the ball into his own net before Icelandic striker Alfreð Finnbogason sealed the victory for the visitors. The loss was the Gunners second in two group stage games, with the next two matches coming against Bayern Munich. Arsenal will need to secure at least a point from those matches—and then beat Olympiacos in Greece, and Dinamo Zagreb at home—if they want a prayer of progressing to the knockout rounds, as only one club under the current UCL format has ever advanced to the Round of 16 on six points (Zenit 2013-14). English clubs have now lost five of their first six group stage games this season, with a chance at a Mancunian double whammy tomorrow at the hands of upstart German opposition. We’ll see what happens when United and City battle Wolfsburg and Monchengladbach, respectively, but it may not stop that volatile English UEFA coefficient from plummeting at its current neck-breaking rate…Elsewhere Bayern’s Robert Lewandowski continued to punish inferior defenders putting another hat-trick past Dinamo Zagreb in a 5-0 beat-down, giving the Polish forward 10 goals in a week; not bad for a guy not named Ronaldo…Bayer Leverkusen did all they could to break down a Messi-less Barcelona, but fell short thanks to 23-year-old Sergio Roberto’s late equalizer and Luiz Suarez’ magnificent go-ahead strike from the top of the box to guarantee the 2-1 victory…

Everyone’s favorite Belarusian club BATE Borisov stunned visiting Roma 3-2, while Dynamo Kyiv put Maccabi Tel Aviv to the sword 2-0…and in the matchups that no one outside of Eastern Spain, Central France, Saint Petersburg, or Flanders cares about (!), Valencia beat Lyon 1-0, while AVB’s boys stuck it to Gent 2-1. And by the way, if the Washington Redskins do end up changing their team name/logo, I can guarantee you that Gent’s crest will be the next to go.