Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Astana’s Own (Goals)


It certainly wasn’t the most delicious fixture—at least on the surface of things—in Wednesday’s slate of Champions League affairs, but Galatasaray vs. FC Astana proved to be one of, if not the most entertaining clash of Match Day Two. Even Borat would have been proud.

Astana, the Kazakh side whose location on a world map is every traveler/hipster/geography nerd’s wet dream (the capital city is closer to Mongolia than it is to Ukraine; or better yet, closer to Beijing than it is to Rome), became the first side from the central Asian country to not only host a UEFA Champions League group stage match, but to also win a point, after an exciting 2-2 draw at the Astana Arena on Wednesday night.


The 30,000-seater stadium that first opened in 2009 was rocking the millisecond both clubs first emerged from the dressing room, and would only grow louder as the evening progressed. It should be noted that because of the significant time difference between Kazakhstan and the vast majority of Europe (London, for example, is five hours behind Astana), the match commenced a full two hours and 45 minutes earlier than the rest of Wednesday’s games, which translated to a local start time of 10:00 PM—well past the bedtime of young Kazakhs wishing to root on their hometown heroes. Surely exceptions were made for the children on this historic night though.

Galatasaray, who were in search of their first road Champions League victory since March 2013—a nine-game stretch—might have been forgiven for a lackluster performance under unfamiliar circumstances, especially when you consider the near five-hour flight (or 61-hour drive for any Cim-Bom faithful daring enough to attempt the arduous haul) the club had to take to get there.

But it was Hamza Hamzaoğlu’s men who struck first, when the most unassuming of players in Bilal Kisa uncorked a shot from about 30 yards out that twisted and dipped before finally finding its way into the back of the net past Astana keeper Nenad Eric in the 31st minute; a unforgettable moment for the 32-year-old midfielder, who was making his Champions League debut.


The Turkish giants took that 1-0 lead into the half, and looked satisfied with playing behind the ball for the remainder of the match, with Astana continuing to push men forward in the hopes of finding an equalizer in the second half. It wasn’t long after a wasted opportunity by Foxi Kéthévoama in the 66th minute when the home side finally found the back of the next thanks to a fortuitous bounce off the leg of an unlucky Hakan Balta whose own goal sent the Astana Arena into a frenzy.

It wouldn’t last long, however, as Eric allowed an own goal nine minutes later after failing to fully save Sinan Gumus’ shot four minutes from time; that put the visitors up one again. The home crowd didn’t despair though, and almost as if from a fairytale, Astana, with the ceaseless, pulsating energy of the crowd behind them, fought back and found yet another equalizer in the 89th minute courtesy of a quite remarkable header by the Colombian Roger Cañas (which was officially scored as a third-consecutive own goal—this one by the Frenchman Lionel Carole, who barely helped the ball into the net) to unleash the second Kazakh eruption of the night.

Minutes later, the final whistle sounded. Astana has secured their precious point.


The reigning Kazakh Premier League champions still sit in last place in their group, but are even with Galatasaray with four matches to play. Two of those matches will come at home with back-to-back November fixtures against Atlético Madrid, and current group leaders Benfica. In what will surely be vastly chillier conditions—Astana being the world’s second-coldest capital after Ulaanbaatar—the Blue and Yellows, whose cosmopolitan makeup blends 17 Kazakhs with a Bosnian, a Serbian, a Ghanian, a Ukrainian, a Slovenian, a Russian, a Colombian, a Central African Republican, and a Congolese striker, should take full advantage from their stronghold in the East. Respective 10-hour flights lay ahead of both Atlético and Benfica.

Astana, of course, will still have to make one of those trips themselves when they travel to Madrid in mid-October—though it may take a bit longer going against the jet-stream—but played well in a 2-0 defeat to Benfica in the group’s opening game, and will close things out with now familiar Galatasaray on December 8 in Istanbul.


The Round of 16 is still a ways away for FC Astana, but they have already made a giant step forward for the minnows that they are. And rest assured, when Atlético comes to town on November 3, the Kazakh champs can take their boost of confidence from this night and be assured that they have what it takes to compete in this league, and that their rollicking fans will support them until the death. They celebrated this evening as if the draw were a victory. That’s because in many ways, it was.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Champions League Roundup (9/29/15)


Another day, another disappointing Chelsea performance. This one came against Porto, and it must have been a bittersweet homecoming for Blues boss Jose Mourinho (by the way, what was more surprising: seeing Iker Casillas in a Porto shirt, or the fact that the Porto shirts were sponsored by New Balance? I mean, New Balance? Really? Do we think Werther’s may sponsor a kit in the near future as well?), who saw his side underwhelm for the umpteenth time this season in a 2-1 defeat. 



Chelsea’s backline was horrific in conceding both Porto goals—one of those to everyone’s new favorite Portuguese midfielder André André (Rochelle, Rochelle, anyone?)—and probably should have conceded more. Branislav Ivanovic, Gary Cahill, and Ramires looked shadows of their old selves, while Kurt Zouma failed to assert his physical presence for a second-straight match. Thank goodness for Will.I.An, whose late first-half curler tied the match at one (just imagine where the Blues would be without the Brazilian winger’s set piece magic thus far—bottom of the EPL, most likely) and proved to be the only sniff of creativity exhibited by a side that has woken up on the wrong side of the bed all season. Chelsea currently sits 14th in the Premier League table nestled between West Brom and Watford, and third in their UCL group, and the irony is that it will be on Mourinho to fix it. In seasons past, Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich would have been salivating at the prospect of axing another Andre Villas-Boas, Luiz Felipe Scolari, or Roberto Di Matteo-type after such a dismal start to the year, but we know that the Russian and The Special One have since repaired their relationship, and that the oil magnate fully entrusts (*cough* demands, or else *cough*) Mou to dig the hapless Blues out of their unexpected hole…



Speaking of holes, how about Arsenal! Another loss for the Gunners tonight at the Emirates to Olympiacos, 3-2, could very well portent the demise of the club’s 2015-16 Champions League aspirations. Petr Cech’s night off allowed David “Butterfingers” Ospina to spill the ball into his own net before Icelandic striker Alfreð Finnbogason sealed the victory for the visitors. The loss was the Gunners second in two group stage games, with the next two matches coming against Bayern Munich. Arsenal will need to secure at least a point from those matches—and then beat Olympiacos in Greece, and Dinamo Zagreb at home—if they want a prayer of progressing to the knockout rounds, as only one club under the current UCL format has ever advanced to the Round of 16 on six points (Zenit 2013-14). English clubs have now lost five of their first six group stage games this season, with a chance at a Mancunian double whammy tomorrow at the hands of upstart German opposition. We’ll see what happens when United and City battle Wolfsburg and Monchengladbach, respectively, but it may not stop that volatile English UEFA coefficient from plummeting at its current neck-breaking rate…Elsewhere Bayern’s Robert Lewandowski continued to punish inferior defenders putting another hat-trick past Dinamo Zagreb in a 5-0 beat-down, giving the Polish forward 10 goals in a week; not bad for a guy not named Ronaldo…Bayer Leverkusen did all they could to break down a Messi-less Barcelona, but fell short thanks to 23-year-old Sergio Roberto’s late equalizer and Luiz Suarez’ magnificent go-ahead strike from the top of the box to guarantee the 2-1 victory…

Everyone’s favorite Belarusian club BATE Borisov stunned visiting Roma 3-2, while Dynamo Kyiv put Maccabi Tel Aviv to the sword 2-0…and in the matchups that no one outside of Eastern Spain, Central France, Saint Petersburg, or Flanders cares about (!), Valencia beat Lyon 1-0, while AVB’s boys stuck it to Gent 2-1. And by the way, if the Washington Redskins do end up changing their team name/logo, I can guarantee you that Gent’s crest will be the next to go.